kle·pas

The Aussie security–trade cock-off

In this second image, then, Australia is a middle-power who’s economic interests are coming into conflict with its traditional security interests by virtue of the fact that its primary partners in security and trade are increasingly coming to see each other as strategic competitors in a contest over who has the largest and most gorgeous penis in all of the big blue Pacific ocean — which is full of trash anyways. The winner of this giant inter-civilisational cock-off stands to win all of the rubbish in the ocean which it can then recycle into sparkly-jewel bits that their militaries can wear on their colour-co-ordinated uniforms — which will make them really pop in that spring sunshine. That, or they could just use the literal islands of rubbish to Bedazzle their national junk. Either way, one dick will end up flaccid and the other will be using aluminum-decorated-pubic-hair to show the rest of the world just how glorious their national junk really looks when you get it in the right light. And won’t we all be so proud ourselves. (Seriously though, there’s a lot of shit in the ocean.)

From a friend.